Cats (December 2019)
After the horrifying and widely mocked trailer, it seems pretty clear that this movie is lined up to be a flop. The weird cat people is a furry’s dream and a normal person’s nightmare and I do not think their are enough furries to propel this movie to success. The musical it chose to adapt also seems to be a fairly dated one that does not have the nostalgia power it needs to succeed. However, there are a couple aspects that may save the move. First, it has some good star power. It has Judy Dench, Ian McKellen, Jason Derulo, Idris Elba, and Taylor Swift. This alone may get enough people to watch it. Secondly, it’s so perplexing and bizarre in its horrifying special effects, that it may get a lot of people to watch it from curiosity. I know that’s why I plan on seeing it.
Midway (November 2019)
It looks like there is a new installment in the long and proud history of terrible WW2 Pacific movies. So far, only a teaser trailer has been released, so this review may be unduly harsh, but in the words of my great-grandfather, the takes can not be hot if you wait too long. It looks to have all of the factors to make a terrible war movie. Love story! Bad CGI (this may change by release)! Bad casting (Jonas brother)! Overly busy combat scenes! Bad writing (“Washington is wrong”)! All in all, it seems lined up to be an extremely forgettable movie.
-Warren
Artless Troglodyte Media 